Is that Reindeer in the Strata Building?
or, why Santa can’t lawfully visit your strata building …
I know you’re all too old to believe in Santa Claus, but imagine what your strata building would say and do if Santa actually turned up with his sleigh, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, and the crew. I dare say he’d be in serious strata trouble.
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As Christmas day approaches, I've been thinking about the conflicts between strata by-laws and rules and some of our favourite Christmas traditions including Santa’s arrival with the reindeer on his sleigh.
It's a real concern to the merry strata people of the festive season when you consider the following potential problems under strata laws.
1. There's no way that Santa has permission to park his sleigh on the common property. It's too big and will block at least one exit and a few other parking spots. Is it even a vehicle and I don’t think it’s registered? And, after all, he’s not a ‘real’ visitor.
2. Plus, reindeer are still not permitted in the common property or lots without a formal application and prior written approval in most strata buildings. Even if they get prior approval, who’s signing the conditions and paying the pet bond? But, hang on a minute, are they assistance animals?
3. If Santa tries to come down the common property chimney (although he won't usually find one) or the mechanical ventilation shafts, he will almost certainly be breaching the fire safety regulations for the building by leaving fire exits or dampers open, blocking exit paths, or worse.
4. Those Christmas lights, wreaths and elves are all unapproved attachments and additions to the common property and are definitely out of keeping with the appearance of the strata building. And the bigger festive decorations probably need a special by-law or rule to be approved or registered.
5. The carollers are not only breaching the noise and peaceful enjoyment by-laws or rules with all that continuous carolling, but they're also encouraging children to play on the common property unsupervised. That’s absolutely not allowed.
6. And, you can’t send any Christmas greetings to the other strata owners as they’ve all asked for their names, emails and phone numbers to be suppressed in the strata records for privacy reasons and don’t want them disclosed to their neighbours.
7. This year there’ll also be no kissing going on under the mistletoe [or anywhere] either because we can’t verify vaccination status and don’t want to risk any tertiary Covid outbreaks regardless of whether or not you’re wearing a mask. Elbow bumps are all that’s still allowed for now.
8. Finally, all that old wrapping paper, ribbons and empty gift boxes need to be crushed or folded, tied up with biodegradable string, and, go into the proper recycling receptacles according to the waste disposal by-laws.
Hopefully your strata building isn’t run by Scrooge and his committee … otherwise, there’ll be a lot of Christmas strata by-law breaches going on this weekend and not nearly enough strata fun.
Bah humbug !!!
December 21, 2023
Francesco ...